A warm reflection on why it matters to become a dementia informed practitioner - Nicolle Mitchell
- Jan 30
- 3 min read
I remember with fondness the first client I treated in my clinic who lived with
dementia. Each consultation began with his cheerful, heartfelt rendition of a song he
called “Sticks to Light My Fire”. It was a cheeky ditty about keeping warm—literally,
by having enough fuel for his fire, but also about the warmth of home, of romance
and rekindling stories of his wife. Over time, this ritual took on another meaning for
us: it kept his memories warm and alive, and it set the tone for our sessions. His
musical regale became an expression of his warmth and humour. He taught me to
allow extra time to be fully present with him, to forge connection, and to
check—through his responses—that he felt comfortable and safe. Extra time is often
crucial when holding space for a client living with dementia.
When I began to specialise and work more within my community, I discovered a
depth of presence that required me to slow right down, giving space for a person to
be heard by listening with the whole of my being. I’m deeply grateful to the people
who have shared their knowledge and experiences, each improving my practice in
different ways—clients offering feedback on what massage techniques worked for
them and why, carers sharing insights that deepened my understanding of meeting
unspoken needs, and colleagues who helped me think more carefully about
behaviour as communication of unmet needs or unexpressed feelings. These
lessons helped me refine my communication approaches and navigate challenges
more meaningfully. They are the building blocks of trust in this richly rewarding
relational work.
Consent can be tricksy, requiring us to navigate both verbal and nonverbal cues. The
beauty of learning this well is that it made me a better therapist in my general
practice too. Having a working understanding of the laws that affect my practice and
my clients’ rights also helped me advocate for them when needed. This knowledge
proved invaluable when diplomatically addressing concerns or pursuing
safeguarding issues. I find it’s best to be prepared; when alarm bells ring in my mind,
knowing where to turn for guidance and support is empowering and helps resolve
issues more positively.
Becoming a therapeutic parent gave me a deeper understanding of trauma and
attachment—insights that apply not only to raising children but also to my personal
and professional relationships. I often use the principles of Dan Hughes’ PACE
model (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy) to build the understanding
needed for trusted relationships. Luke J. Tanner’s Embracing Touch in Dementia
Care also opened up fascinating ideas about how we present ourselves depending
on attachment and relational dynamics, offering clues about how best to meet a
client’s needs in any given moment.
Holding space takes time, and that includes getting to know our clients—what
makes them tick, what helps them feel safe? Do we gently create safety by degrees,
or does a client prefer a nononsense approach, wanting me to get on with the job
efficiently?
When we wrap all this together—specific techniques from other disciplines,
seasoned perspectives from experts in the field, generous illuminations from clients
and loved ones, not to mention methods I’ve developed through exploring our
craft—we end up with tried, tested, and now scientifically supported tools we can
weave into treatments to suit each client in the moment.
I’ve gathered tips, techniques, and wonderful wisdom that enhance practice whether
you’re treating a person living with dementia or not. Therapists often tell me these
skills and insights enrich their wider work. Whether you’re experienced or still
building your practice, there is so much to gain from becoming a dementiainformed
therapist—fuelling your passion with sticks to light your fire.
Nicolle Mitchell
Holistic Massage Practitioner and Educator
Nicolle will be facilitating her award-winning training at BCMB this March. Book both
days and save £50
Massaging Persons Living with Dementia: Thursday 12 th March – no pre-requisites
Aromatherapy for Persons Living with Dementia: Friday 13 th March – prerequisite:
Aromatherapy qualification
Email: massage4dementia@gmail.com
Tel: 07899 944650
